I've always been different, out of touch, not quite in the rhythm of normal society. I truly thought I was just odd, not getting the clues everyone gets, subject to over-stimulation, and unable to 'succeed' in the way others seem to be able to do so effortlessly. Until I read a book with a character that eerily came across like me.
Instead of being put off, I was intrigued into researching Autism, Asperger's Syndrome, and then onto the full Autism Spectrum Disorder.
It's going to take months for me to understand everything I'm reading. And if I decide I do fit into the spectrum, it changes a lot of the way I see myself. Suddenly my rocking movement makes more sense. My inability to look people in the eye. The fact I need to have earphones in my ears and be listening to something if I go into a crowded area to deal with it. And that's just the tip of the iceberg.
First thing you must understand about ASD: It covers a wide range of disorders and a wide range of intelligence. What television shows you as autism, does not necessarily stand for anyone else in the spectrum.
Second thing you must understand about ASD: The rules psychologists look at to define someone with ASD are antiquated and misogynistic. They assume females will react the same way males do and for the most part, they don't.
Third thing you must understand about ASD: It's not what you think it is.
They call it being neurodiverse - our brains are wired differently. That I'd already figured out about myself. Seeing how well I fit into the spectrum is overwhelming, and like I said will take some time to figure out where I fit and how this serves me.
Whether I elect to self-diagnose myself as ASD after my research or not, I'm excited to start on this journey. If nothing else, it's rather nice to know there are others besides myself, who react in certain ways that normal society doesn't get.
This is where I'm starting: I've already done a little research, combed the web for some websites I've bookmarked to read. I've taken 2 online quizzes - now, online quizzes are ambiguous at best and one has to take them with a grain of salt. However, they both did mark me as high on the scale.
For instance, the Psych Central quiz (which I took when I first began to wonder) is small and this was my result:
I also took the Aspie Quiz which is much longer and these were my results:
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 174 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 19 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)
Obviously, these are just starting points, but after reading through Cynthia Kim's blog Musings of an Aspie, and starting on two books "I am AspienWoman" and "I Think I Might Be Autistic" I am cautiously optimistic about everything I'm learning.
I hope, if you have been on the same journey or know someone who has, that you'll comment on my posts, share the knowledge you have. If nothing else, maybe we can help educate.
However, I'm one of those people who is really good at noticing when things resonate with me and this does in ways that kind of blow my mind.
On with my journey...
Instead of being put off, I was intrigued into researching Autism, Asperger's Syndrome, and then onto the full Autism Spectrum Disorder.
It's going to take months for me to understand everything I'm reading. And if I decide I do fit into the spectrum, it changes a lot of the way I see myself. Suddenly my rocking movement makes more sense. My inability to look people in the eye. The fact I need to have earphones in my ears and be listening to something if I go into a crowded area to deal with it. And that's just the tip of the iceberg.
First thing you must understand about ASD: It covers a wide range of disorders and a wide range of intelligence. What television shows you as autism, does not necessarily stand for anyone else in the spectrum.
Second thing you must understand about ASD: The rules psychologists look at to define someone with ASD are antiquated and misogynistic. They assume females will react the same way males do and for the most part, they don't.
Third thing you must understand about ASD: It's not what you think it is.
They call it being neurodiverse - our brains are wired differently. That I'd already figured out about myself. Seeing how well I fit into the spectrum is overwhelming, and like I said will take some time to figure out where I fit and how this serves me.
Whether I elect to self-diagnose myself as ASD after my research or not, I'm excited to start on this journey. If nothing else, it's rather nice to know there are others besides myself, who react in certain ways that normal society doesn't get.
This is where I'm starting: I've already done a little research, combed the web for some websites I've bookmarked to read. I've taken 2 online quizzes - now, online quizzes are ambiguous at best and one has to take them with a grain of salt. However, they both did mark me as high on the scale.
For instance, the Psych Central quiz (which I took when I first began to wonder) is small and this was my result:
I also took the Aspie Quiz which is much longer and these were my results:
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 174 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 19 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)
Obviously, these are just starting points, but after reading through Cynthia Kim's blog Musings of an Aspie, and starting on two books "I am AspienWoman" and "I Think I Might Be Autistic" I am cautiously optimistic about everything I'm learning.
I hope, if you have been on the same journey or know someone who has, that you'll comment on my posts, share the knowledge you have. If nothing else, maybe we can help educate.
However, I'm one of those people who is really good at noticing when things resonate with me and this does in ways that kind of blow my mind.
On with my journey...
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